Solar Eclipse Rips: Where (& What) To Smoke

Millions of people will be standing outside to watch the “Great American Solar Eclipse,” which will move coast to coast, touching only the mainland United States on Monday, Aug. 21. However, a total blackout will only occur in a narrow strip of the country, from Oregon to South Carolina.

So obviously, the center of the solar eclipse pot hype is in Oregon: It’s a safe bet that’s it’s going to look like some combination of Apocalypto meets the droid invasion of Kashyyyk — where Chewbacca’s squad resides — but Oregon will probably have the best cannabis in the eclipse’s path, notwithstanding random bags of Cali weed that migrate east.

There are a crazy number of Oregon dispensaries, but also a whole lot of mids. So we reached out to some of the most knowledgable heads in Portland for the real scoop on where budding astronomers should go for research supplies — be it the spiritual, self-introspective or astronomical kind.

Homegrown Apothecary’s Hawaiian Trainwreck will surely get your heart beating a bit faster. Gassy versions and variations of the classic Arcata genetics are some of the best sativas in the game, and if you want to have a panic attack during the eclipse it’s your best bet.

Over at Farma — considered one of the top spots in the state by many — the OG Kush Breath by Gnome Grown looks super appealing. The rare cookies pheno has a terpene profile measuring in at 2.2 percent, which will definitely equate to some tasty solar rips — more on that shortly.

There will be plenty of weed out there, but much like those eclipse sunglasses you got from China instead of the museum, you should always do a little research before you buy blind — literally blind in the case of many of those sunglasses, sadly.

According to the Statesman Journal, there are really only four things to remember about Oregon pot laws:

1. Don’t partake if you’re underage. Marijuana users must be at least 21 years old.

2. No street-corner deals. You have to buy it from legal retailers licensed by the state. The Oregon Liquor Control Commission, which regulates recreational weed sales, has an online list of all the approved dealers.

3. It’s illegal to smoke or consume any type of pot in public. That includes gummies and brownies. Don’t try to be sneaky. And no, the state isn’t relaxing marijuana laws Monday to let you light a spliff at parks or sandy beaches during the roughly two minutes of solar-eclipse totality.

4. You can’t take it home with you across state lines.

It’s funny that this is really what they expect cops to be doing during the eclipse — looking for folks sneaking edible wrappers back into their pockets or listening for the sound of clicking lighters — but otherwise, good advice.

And if you have to buy pot on the corner (that couldn’t make it through Oregon’s strict regulatory system) and you’re over the age of 21, I’d say you’ve probably made other poor decisions along the way to that moment.

So what are these solar rips I speak of? It’s just like it sounds — harnessing the power of the sun to light your cannabis. And the possibilities are endless if you’re willing to accessorize a bit.

You can buy a small magnifying glass, but the most simple route is to get something all-in-one and just throw it on a nice bong. This Solar Hit Pipe is that solution, and it comes in an 18mm male size.

The only problem is you won’t be able to use it during the actual eclipse.

Activists in less progressive cannabis states along the path are using the opportunity to get the word out to discourage cannabis consumption. In Wyoming, where a bunch of reform bill died this year (and a joint can get you a year in jail), law enforcement was kind enough to remind everyone they definitely will arrest you: Three of Wyoming Association of Sheriffs and Chiefs of Police’s posts on Facebook this month have been about arresting pot smoking eclipse viewers, so we believe them.

Be sure to keep an eye out for whatever goes down in Washington D.C., where the Rhode Island Healing Church will burn THC infused olive oil at the National Basilica — or at least attempt to.

TELL US, what will you be doing during the solar eclipse?