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Can Couples With Opposing Views on Marijuana Survive?

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PHOTO Freeman LaFleur

Joint Opinions

Can Couples With Opposing Views on Marijuana Survive?

Sure, they might light up your life, but how do they feel when you light up?

The dating scene can be a nightmare for singles and  with the added layer of the COVID-19 pandemic, things aren’t getting any easier.

There was once a time when a belief in God, country and a desire to spawn a litter of children was enough to bring couples harmoniously together for both good or ill. But those days are long gone. There is so much more at stake now, as centuries of oppression throughout American history have led to the rise of women’s rights and a cultural obsession with giving people of all walks of life the same freedom to live out a miserable existence in their pursuit of happiness.

But not every citizen is prepared to jump onboard the progressive trends gaining traction in the United States. Some folks are more concerned about maintaining the antiquated standards of our forefathers than conducting themselves with any level of common sense, honor and civility. So, depending on individual personalities, any mutual attraction between two people can quickly turn to disaster when opposing views on touchy subjects come to light.

And believe it or not, marijuana is right up there with those issues that have a tendency to drag even the most promising couples down the Shakespearian rabbit hole to the ranks of star-crossed lovers.

Loud and Proud?

Although a majority of Americans now support the concept of legal weed, that doesn’t mean everyone out there on Tinder, Match and other love connection sites are eager to date, build a life or even have a one-night-stand with someone with an affinity for cannabis. The stigmas associated with the herb still run deep, which means there is still a portion of the population with an aversion to all things weed.

In some cases, cannabis remains associated with the drug culture. So even if a person understands that marijuana is safer than alcohol and that it has therapeutic benefits — hell, they may also feel strongly about criminal justice reform and be in favor of decriminalizing it at the federal level — they still may never be happy about having a sheet-soaking love affair with someone who gets high.

It is not uncommon to see dating profiles branded with the phrases “potheads swipe left,” and “druggies need not apply,” during those late-night searches for the one, or at least the one right now. Honestly, this degree of forwardness makes it simple for the average cannabis consumer. We swipe left! There are also those die-hard marijuana users who proudly stamp their profiles with “420-friendly” and other green phrases to let others know that they are down with the doobie. Yet most seem intent on keeping that information private until the time is right.

Not unlike abortion, gay marriage or a fondness of Kid Rock, marijuana is still one of those issues that gets put on hold until after the first date. While a person might be quick to point out during an initial encounter that they “have a cocktail from time to time,” and perhaps even reveal their less-than-flavorful music taste, very few will divulge their passion for pot. Unless, of course, they connect right out of the gate with someone on the same heady wavelength. But because most people are still so reserved about the pot issue, maybe feeling the need to protect their careers or keep it a secret from family members, this part of a person’s lifestyle can be difficult to gauge.

Recently, reports have surfaced suggesting that in spite of whether two people agree on marijuana, it may still be possible for cannabis users and non-users to have a successful relationship. All that needs to happen, or so they say, is for the user to convince the non-user that weed hasn’t turned them into a non-productive, burned out stoner with nothing to offer civil society. The article suggests that the marijuana consumer should come clean as soon as possible about their use, engaging in an open dialogue with their non-using partner in an attempt to assure them that weed has enhanced their lives rather than contribute to their degeneration.

But this can be tricky.

Finding Love in a Dopeless Place

We admit that honestly is the best policy, especially if there is any interest whatsoever about moving the relationship to the next level. But it is important to understand that the outcome of that discussion could go either way. Your date may be relieved that they, too, are sitting across from a marijuana fanatic, or they might be offended by it and you’ll never see them again. We are not so sure that approaching a dating situation with integrity is necessary for the occasional hookup. In fact, less information is often better in these cases. Honesty about one’s marijuana use is really only critical in a spot where there seems to be some chemistry and an interest in seeing each other naked on a regular basis.

Unfortunately, we are not hopeful that this smidgen of morality will lead to a happy ending in the case of two people with opposing views on cannabis use. Marijuana is not precisely the same deal-breaking construct as being a Trump supporter (or vice versa), but it is still in the same ballpark. Again, many people support legalization, but some of them are far from ready to get into a long-term relationship (or even a temporary one) with a cannabis user. Sure, it’s a hypocritical stance, but that doesn’t make it any less real. We are still living in a time when people will consume alcohol in front of their children, yet they hide their cannabis use from them at all cost. Legal marijuana still needs more time to mature and become socially acceptable before this changes.

Our advice, if cannabis use is and always will be a large part of your life, is to do your to best enter into relationships with people who feel the same way. This certainly won’t ensure that you’ll live happily ever after — it is a relationship, after all — but it might keep you from wasting too much time on the wrong person. Seek out cannabis-friendly dating sites. There are a few out there that might be worth your while. Or you could always utilize the sneaky methods employed by boozehounds for decades: just hide it from your significant other and hope for the best.

Hey, it’s your life. We’re just trying to help you get through it as easily and as stoned as possible. If you happen to get lucky in the process, good for you.

Now, go forth and be loved!

TELL US, could you date someone who doesn’t use cannabis?

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