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Dear Dabby: Grinding, Loving & Smoking

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Culture

Dear Dabby: Grinding, Loving & Smoking

Accomplished comedian and cannabis activist, Ngaio Bealum, offers advice on the ideal methods for grinding and getting down.

Dear Dabby,

Hello Ngaio! Hope you are well. I was wondering what your opinion was on grinding weed for bong and pipe use? — Diana Bong

Hello! Although I love to use my hands when I crumble up the dank, grinders are fun and way easier than using your hands. The cheap plastic ones are good for your stoner utility belt — err, travel bag, but the metal ones are way easier to use and clean. Some fancy grinders even have kief catchers so you can collect those tasty trichomes that otherwise would end up stuck to your fingers.

One more thing: If your pipe doesn’t have a screen, maybe just stick in a decent sized nug or use a coarser grind so you don’t inhale any flaming embers. Flaming embers in the back of the throat can ruin a good session. And no need to incinerate the whole bowl at once. Wave your lighter over a corner of the bowl while you gently inhale. That way you save a greener, tastier hit for the person going next. Have fun, and happy grinding!

Dear Dabby,

I just started dating a guy and he doesn’t know that I smoke yet. I blaze hella trees, what’s the best way to let him know? — Secret Lover

Just be honest. There’s no need to beat around the kush. Unless you are dating a cop or a prohibitionist, weed is really not a big deal these days. Some folks drink, some folks smoke weed. Some like to do both. Some do neither.

I think new couples need to have a drug talk just like they need to have a sex and monogamy talk. Clear communication of boundaries and expectations are important for all facets of a romantic relationship.

Next time he comes over, tell him you just got some good sh*t, and ask him if he wants a hit. If he freaks out and says he would never date a pothead, he is clearly not the one for you and y’all can still be friends.

If he says “yes,” get him high and boink his brains out.

If he says “No thank you, but I don’t mind if you do,” you should still get high and boink his brains out. That way, he’ll equate you being stoned with really good sex, and everyone will be happy forever.

Originally published in Issue 25 of Cannabis Now. LEARN MORE

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