There was a time in most of our young lives when the heady few weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas were spent compiling a list of all the fiendish new toys we wanted Santa to bring us. The idea that some strange man with a pack of flying reindeer was coming in December just to leave a bunch of free stuff was nothing less than mind-blowing.
It was also the perfect opportunity to score all of the gear that our parents forbid us from having outside of the holiday season. After all, what could they possibly say if Santa were to put nunchucks under the tree? Nothing, that’s what.
Then we grew up and started our own holiday traditions. Most of us traded all of that Jeebus, ho-ho-ho nonsense for more adult-oriented festivities. And for good reason: There is no better way to celebrate this time of year than in the company of like-minded folks, getting chiefed out on some quality smoke while keeping an open mind to all other potential debaucheries that might enter the equation. In a certain mindset, there is always something interesting lurching around the corner. Keep that in mind as you venture out to all of those holiday parties this year.
And as adults, no longer do we send lists to the North Pole in pursuit of material possessions. We’re over all that. All we really want for Christmas is for our family to respect our “Do What Thou Wilt,” mover-and-shaker lifestyle and perhaps honor it during the holidays with a gift that says, “Listen, we’re sorry we ruined Christmas for you when you were a kid, please accept this fat sack of weed and our sincerest apologies.”
Hell yeah, we accept!
Christmas weed is the best kind. It’s green, free and, well, it’s a lot more fun than socks, an ugly sweater or a gift card to Applebee’s.