Red Dead Redemption 2 has smashed its way to every record imaginable in the last seven days since its release, and we have the essential cannabis smoker’s guide and activity list for Rockstar’s likely Game of The Year winner.
Make no mistake about it — RDR2 is essentially the Purple Punch of this year’s crop of video games. It’s going to win everything, and deservingly so. Of course, we admit it doesn’t quite have the blue Powerade smell when you open the box. What could possibly make Red Dead Redemption 2’s open-world western sandbox gameplay of a generation-defining quality better, you ask? Smoking weed. In our opinion, large amounts of world-class marijuana make an already fun time even more delightful. We’ve been smoking mostly dank OG strains since we arrived in New Hanover, but we’ve dipped into some other terpene profiles over the course of the week to keep things fresh.
If you’re finding yourself in combat a lot, just pretend the massive amount of tobacco you have to consume to keep your Dead Eye Meter up is all whacky weed. And in that sense, Rockstar should consider allowing you to roll up spliffs on the campfire crafting menu. You can put oregano on the mature venison meat, but you can’t roll up the tobacco Arthur Morgan has in his pocket! This is tragic, and we hope it’s remedied in the first DLC.
But there is plenty of stuff to enjoy while you’re puffing tough like Arthur!
Cinematic Mode: Time to Roll
Cinematic Mode is where the real action goes down. Since it takes a while to unlock fast travel, and even then it’s only one wat, Cinematic Mode comes with a god-sent autopilot. You can set the speed of your horse for the journey, but those trips still take a bit of time, even if your horse is at full speed. This is a great time to roll up a joint or backwoods. But be careful! Those darn O’Driscolls could pop out of anywhere at any moment and it’s fast sometimes. Keep an ear out for trouble, hit pause real quick and then fight it out with your assailants when you’re done rolling up!
Fishing & Hunting: Time for a Sativa
Rockstar did a great job of making certain things tedious, and fishing is a great example. You’re going to be spending some time playing around with all the combinations of bait and lures, as well as different kinds of bodies of water like lakes and rivers. Plus, Legendary Fish can be a bit trickier than their normal version — you could very well need to puff for the headaches. But the sense of accomplishment after is fun! Early on when you need to start farming animal skins for all the various upgrades to camp and Arthur’s gear, you’re going to want a good sativa. You’re going to go through a lot of rabbits looking for those perfect pelts!
Picking Your Horse: Save Your Best Weed Names
When picking a name for your horse, don’t burn your favorite weed-related name early unless you’re planning to use numerals for the long run. We recommend waiting until you find a horse with a speed potential of at least 8 before committing to calling them Blunty or Smokey McPot. If you’re smart, it will be a White Arabian you can find as early as Chapter 2. But who are we kidding? Smokey McPot XIV has a nice ring to it, no matter what the type of horse. You can make a wook horse too! All breeds have the option to have their mane and tail groomed into dreadlocks!
Savoring The Comedy: Increase the THC
Weed makes comedy better. We don’t know the science behind it, but more than a handful of “Half Baked” screenings later, it’s a statement we can say with confidence. And while RDR2 will be loved for its action and its progressive new take on a game we all loved, the writing is simply top notch. As with all funny things, the punchlines hit a bit harder with a little THC in you!
TELL US, what video games do you like to play?