Few things have captured the attention of the masses quite like rescuing the aliens who conspiracy theorists claim crashed in Roswell, New Mexico on July 8, 1947 (or on the eve of 710 Eve, perhaps on their way to the fattest dab party in the galaxy). As the theory goes, these aliens are now being housed at the highly classified Area 51 Air Force military base in Nevada.
What is not a theory is that 3.3 million people have signed up for a Facebook event titled “Storm Area 51, They Can’t Stop All of Us,” scheduled for Sept. 20 at 3 a.m. The event’s organizer has since announced that the event itself is a joke, but suggested that perhaps a music festival in the desert near the Nevada base would be a good alternative.
Even if only 1% of those people who RSVPed show up, that’s still 33,000 people, which is about the size of Alexander the Great’s army back in the day. But how will this modern-day swarm deal with the U.S. military, a military with more resources than any in history? And we don’t even know what exactly folks will be trying to accomplish. Do the aliens have lifespans similar to giant tortoises? Are they just a bag in the freezer at this point? But regardless of what happens with this Area 51 event, whether festival or raid or stay-at-home celebration, you’re going to need good pot.
Here is the perfect list of strains to help you have a close encounter of the 420th kind.
The Paradise Seeds classic, Nebula was a big hit in the mid-Atlantic states in the mid-2000s after it took home second and third place in Amsterdam at the Cannabis Cup. Nebula is a sativa-leaning hybrid that does better indoors than out. It came to prominence a little too early, before the age of major 400 light West Coast grows, so you won’t see it in real production today. But this strain’s rare status only heightens the fun for an Area 51 party.
For a long time, Space Queen was a member of the royalty when it came to pot with intergalactic names. The pairing of Romulan and Cinderella 99 is a winner, as Space Queen is definitely elite when grown to her full potential. However, there were definitely some lackluster clones in the mix, too. It’s one of those strains whose reputation took a dent or two because midsy growers got a midsy cut and then some people’s first impressions were those versions. But if you’re able to find some top-shelf Space Queen, you’re in for a good time.
Once you try and rescue the aliens from Area 51, you’re going to need to make your way over to the S4 research site, which Area 51-whistleblower Bob Lazar says is “the only place there was ever alien technology.” The strain you’ll need for a boost to get there is E.T. Galactic Gas. This strain brings together Gushers and Gelato #45, a top-three Gelato phenotype for many along with the Gelato #41 and #33. It’ll be sure to provide enough kick to break free of Earth’s gravity.
Let’s not kid ourselves, except for the folks standing in the back smoking blunts and cheering, the people heading to Area 51 are going to need a miracle. We think that MAC, or Miracle Alien Cookies, is the perfect jar to provide that little bit of extra hope. In the few years it’s been on the scene, MAC has absolutely blown up and is coveted by any gardener lucky enough to get their hands on it.
TELL US, if you met an alien, what strain would you offer them?