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Strain Review: Grape Ape

Photo by Dank Depot


Strain Review: Grape Ape

Oregon puts kibosh on Girl Scout Cookies, Charlotte’s Web, 18 other strain names that they say “appeal to children” – but only the names. We’re highlighting these strains in a series we call Banned Buds Week.

King Kong ain’t got nothing on this superbly serene, body buzz-tastic indica-dominant hybrid strain that is deeply relaxing and happily tranquilizing without being overpowering or zapping you of all your energy — unless you smoke enough. Lovers of post-work evening tokes, lazily lounging with a joint and full on stony nightcap sessions will appreciate Grape Ape’s ability to bring a soothing cerebral calm and undisturbed body stone to the table after a full day of adulting.

If you’re looking for a strain that lives up to it’s name, this one is it. The tightly-packed, sticky buds are often generous in size and composed of deep green and rich purple hues. The plant can often reach full flower in just seven to eight weeks. When it’s cultivated and cured well, the whole, unseparated buds smell of hashy berries —  both vaguely sweet and noticeably skunky — but once they’ve been broken down and grinded up, the berry smell becomes much more prominent almost like the scent of a thick jam.

When smoked, it has a mildly sweet but distinct grapey flavor and musky aftertaste that lingers almost as long as its fruity fragrance. The buds smoke clean and smooth with a multidimensional high that morphs over time from a heady, unfocused high into a reflective, meditative buzz with waves of drowsiness ranging from enjoyably sedative to mildly comatose — depending on how much you smoke.

For those who don’t want to succumb to couchlock, it may be a good idea to take it easy on this strain unless you have a high tolerance for the classic effects of indica. Otherwise, a few puffs should do the trick of smoothing down the rough edges of a prickly mood for a couple of hours. Grape Ape is helpful with anxiety, chronic pain, chronic stress and depression. It can also assist people who suffer from a lack of appetite or nausea by igniting a desire for food and giving you the ability to keep it down.

This is definitely not a daytime smoke unless you don’t have plans to go anywhere. Otherwise, save this one for the end of the day. Let this strain sail you right into a good night’s sleep, but be mindful of the amount. Unless you are struggling with the kind of insomnia that makes you toss and turn and need something to keep you glued to sleep throughout the night, you may end up more groggy than rested if you overdo it.

Have you ever puffed clouds of Grape Ape?

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