Dear Dabby: Celebrity Endorsements & Getting Crossfaded

Dear Dabby,

What’s the right way to get crossfaded? My buddy who’s just getting into it won’t stop puking on my carpet. — Amy Choor

Amy, this is the best question I have received in a looooong time. Thank you. Getting “crossfaded” (being high on weed and drunk on booze at the same time) can be hella fun. The challenge is finding the right balance of booze and buds to keep it enjoyable and vomit-free.

Moderation is the first part. There is no reason to smoke all the weed and drink all the booze. A shot or two of this, a dab or two of that, and you should be well on your way to finding a happy medium. But I think the most important part is in what order you ingest your intoxicants.

My research and experience have led me to understand that getting stoned before you get your drink on is the best way to avoid the spins and the hurls. Just say this to yourself before you start your adventure:

Beer before bongs, you’re doing it wrong.

Bongs before beer, you’re in the clear.

Once you are drunk, avoid marijuana. Don’t give into peer pressure. Reject that drunken over-confidence saying you can do anything. Be a responsible and professional drug user. Have fun. Be careful. Don’t drive. Also, baking soda is a great way to remove vomit from a carpet. Dump a box over the mess and let it sit for 15 to 20 minutes, then vacuum. Good luck.

Dear Dabby,

I was wondering: Since you have your face on a brand of weed, do you think celebrity endorsements influence youths’ perception of marijuana? Since you’re a comic for adults maybe it doesn’t apply in your case, but I was still curious. —E

E, I’m sure it does. I mean, that’s kind of the point of a celebrity endorsement, right? Influencing people is the goal. Paris Hilton wants you to buy her perfume. Steph Curry wants you to drink Brita-filtered water. Tommy Chong wants you to smoke his weed. Nas wants you to drink Hennessy. This is America. We sell things. Commercials are abundant. Parents should be teaching their kids about the persuasiveness and perniciousness of advertising by the time their children are old enough to eat a Happy Meal.

Do I think children will be led down a never-ending path of drug use and destruction because Kurupt has his face on a box of Moonrocks? Nope. The beauty of the new legalization is that it’s hard for kids to get pot from a dispensary. The dope man doesn’t check ID. The dispensary does.

Youth pot usage goes down in states that have medical or adult-use cannabis laws. And I would rather my kids smoke weed (after they have graduated high school and assuming they are handling their responsibilities) than get drunk every Friday night at the local party house.

Stop thinking of weed as some sort of evil demon plant and instead think of it as just one more thing young people need to know about in order to function as a responsible adult in polite society.

Originally published in Issue 23 of Cannabis Now. LEARN MORE

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