While it’s not the Pot Oscars, Hollywood is getting ready to do their biggest and best award show, and we’ve got the strains you’ll need for enjoying this year’s Academy Awards at maximum hype levels — we’ve even added a few categories for folks excessively into the arts.
From The Bicycle Thief to Too Fast Too Furious: Tokyo Drift, all films of note have at some point been enjoyed by someone under the influence of cannabis. For some of us, the Oscars represent the things we enjoyed watching the most this year… when we were lit and Viceland was on reruns.
Here’s a list of picks for getting the most out of Sunday evening:
Best Loud Terpene Soundtrack – Moxie Super Lemon Haze Live Resin Cake Badder
Moxie Cake Badder makes every movie better, but its high limonene content is not for the faint of heart. The high is fast paced like a film starring Duane “The Rock” Johnson, who like Tom Hanks, was not given the nod with a Best Actor nomination this year — shame. You can find Moxie products in California and Nevada.
Best Performance by A Kush Cross – Sapphire Kush
Near West Hollywood and want to make sure your jewelry is up to par before you get to the Kodak Theatre? Head over to MedMen; the Sapphire Kush they’re carrying from Northern Emeralds is sure to out-bling any other trichomes in the room, the after party and quite possibly the rest of LA County.
Best Companion Strain to a Film : Starkiller OG
The Star Wars franchise is basically the 1990s New York Yankees when it comes to having awesome pot named after your movies, and that’s coming from a Red Sox fan. Skywalker OG offspring Starkiller is no exception to this rule, so if you’re in Denver, keep an eye out for it at House of Dankness.
Most Wanted Rotation Member: Denzel Washington
Denzel has shown a ton of depth in his career over the decades, so we’d be interested to see the direction he takes things with indicas, sativas, and hybrids. We note he looked quite comfortable and in character for his on screen puffing, but that’s why he is Denzel!
Best Portrayal of A Cop by A Former Pothead: Jeff Bridges
Jeff Bridges gave up pot a few years ago because it wasn’t illegal enough for him anymore and that took all the fun out. Seeing The Dude with a badge and no white Russian or spliff was kinda weird, but we respect the art of it! On a positive note, his granddaughter calls him Dude-pa — how adorbz is that?!?
Highest Presumed THC Content: Emma Stone(d)
See what we did there? We crack ourselves up. But seriously Emma, if you ever want to smoke a fat joint on the cover of a magazine, we got you. Don’t let the Hollywood glitz fool you, we suspect that Emma will have some of the fuegoest nugs at the ceremony.
Most Likely To Be In The Gift Bag: Defonce Chocolatier Matcha
Nothing says “I won a little gold statue” like Defonce’s Matcha bars. At 180mg, they’ll probably kill you (at least if you ask the Colorado Health Department), but thankfully Oscar country is in California! Matcha is an ancient Chinese recipe and pot is an ancient Chinese medicine — Hollywood is going to love this stuff.
Honorable Mention: Kosher Kush, because who really runs this town?!
TELL US, will you be watching the 2017 Oscars?