While it might sound a bit strange to publish a semi-instructional piece on how to stay high all day long, there is actually a fine art to existing in the big, bad world under the effects of THC for the majority of a 24-hour period without getting oneself jammed up in some unsavory situations for which there is no escape. Call it a lesson in professionalism; call it a waste of time. Just remember, you clinked the link to this story, so, perhaps deep down inside, somewhere rattling around in the darkest depths of your subconscious, there is a part of you starved for valuable information on how to maintain an elevated perspective from sunrise to sack time. We’re not here to judge.
When the morning alarm goes off, an evil sound designed to inform the working class that there is a job and a nagging boss expecting to be graced with their presence in the not so distant future, it is necessary to start the day off with the appropriate mindset. After all, it is impossible to be high all day without catching a buzz first thing in the morning. But this concept, often referred to as the Wake and Bake, takes a little finesse.
A functional member of high society cannot just get ripped out of their minds before breakfast and expect to maintain the staying power necessary to deal with work (and all of the curve balls that comes with it), family matters and after-hours recreation.
We suggest taking a couple of hits (and only a couple) of a sativa-dominant strain, like Blue Dream, before even getting out of bed. This breed of weed is known for its ability to take the edge off, induce an explosion of feel-good effects and spin creativity — all things needed to endure a day at the office. Toss in a cup of coffee and you’re good to go. Recent studies have shown that java tickles the same regions of the brain as cannabis, improving the high.
The trickiest part of the day is staying stoned at work. Unless you have a job like we do. But let’s face it, the majority of the American population does not punch a clock for a company that allows pot to be used as freely as caffeine. Even in legal states, most businesses still maintain a strict no pot policy while on the job. Considering that we all have bills to pay, it is probably best to adhere to workplace rules against weed in order to avoid being fed to the wolves of the unemployment line.
With that said, it is relatively easy to stay stoned at work throughout an 8-hour shift without catching any heat from human resources. Edible pot products are, in our opinion, the best method for clandestinely preserving a buzz without arousing any suspicion from the stiff-collars in upper management. That is as long as a person does not get overly enthusiastic and devour an entire 100 mg cannabis-infused chocolate bar at 8 a.m. Staying off the radar and avoiding a drug test requires more skill than that. Depending on a person’s tolerance, we recommend 10 mg or less at the beginning of the workday and another every 3-4 hours until it’s time to go home. Microdosing is the key to survival for the inexperienced user. The more seasoned consumer can up the dose to 20 mg — any more than that and you run the risk of babbling incessantly about topics that only a high person would. It is important to remember that the goal is not to get completely wrecked at work. We’re just trying to keep a comfortable, pleasurable head change to help us deal with being there.
Once the grind is finished for the day, you have permission to take your buzz to the next level. This is the time when you and some co-workers might congregate at a local watering hole to complain about job-related matters over a few beers and some greasy cheeseburgers. It’s a modest reward for being forced to get dressed in the morning and pretend to be somewhat motivated in exchange for a paycheck. But while the rest of the crew on their way to the bar, you’re going to take a slight detour. Although the edibles you have been consuming throughout the day are still resonating, a true professional will duck back to their place to squeeze in a few hits off a bong (and we mean one with a chamber long enough to get a giraffe high) or a dab rig. It is at this point a person could have more THC coursing through their veins than oxygen. But considering the alternative, which is this dull and boring concept called sobriety, we feel this is the perfect place to be by the hour of 5 or 6 in the evening.
By the time you finish socializing and make it back to the homestead, it is going to be time to think about making the gradual decent back to a right mind – or as close as you, as an individual, can come to that without hurting yourself. This is where a high-CBD indica-dominant strain, like Harlequin, is going to come in handy. There is evidence that these breeds can help alleviate some of the stoned effects that comes from getting turned up on too much THC. These strains have a wind-down effect, perfect for someone who has made it his or her mission to stay stoned all day long. It is our recommendation that you hit this stuff like you are trying to sedate a large, rabid animal, because you are going to need your rest. The point in which the morning alarm is set to go off, indicating that it is time to do it all over again is never far.
TELL US, have you ever spent an entire day high?