Religious Zealots Believe God Does Not Approve of Marijuana

There are religious zealots who believe that the end of the world is coming later this summer. Some people believe that these die-hards are in desperate need of an immediate psychological evaluation, while others of the opinion that anyone presently packing a bag for the promised land just needs to smoke some weed and try to relax their end-of-the -world anxieties.

But it turns out that those followers dedicated to the word of the God really have no interest in marijuana. Most even refuse to use it to benefit their bodies therapeutically, according to a recent report published in the Journal of Drug Issues.

In an analysis of a 2016 National Survey on Drug Use and Health, which examined the connection between religion and the use of marijuana, researchers found that “Those who are active within religious institutions may favor conformity through fear of divine retribution, internalized moral codes, guilt avoidance, and the social context of obedient peer networks. If religious individuals are more deferential to authority than others, they may be more likely to obey laws prohibiting illicit substance use and the use of prescription drugs in the medically prescribed manner.”

The study, which references a number of Bible versus, including Hebrews 13:17; Peter 2:13-14; Romans 13:1-7, suggests that God-fearing fanatics are not only opposed to chiefing on a little reefer from time to time, but they also hold a moral opposition to most alternative medical treatments. The story is much different for that group who considers themselves “spiritual” instead of religious. This group has no reservations whatsoever about puffing the peace pipe in search of enlightenment and good health.

So why are some religious people weirdos about weed?

The authors of the study have speculated that this group is likely convinced that there is nobility in suffering. In the back of their minds they could be thinking that when God swoops down from the heavens and starts getting all “judgey” with the drunkards, stoners and other riff raff of society, he or she will look upon them and say, “Good job for just saying no and pushing through the pain,” tossing them on the back of a white unicorn and galloping off into the clouds,  leaving the heretics to burn.

Again, it sounds absolutely ridiculous to think that there are people out there who feel smoking marijuana shackles them to hell’s gates. But this is not the first time the scientific world has made this bizarre determination. Previous studies have shown that religious people are nearly 60 percent less likely to support marijuana legalization. A recent Pew survey found that only around 40 percent of white evangelical Christians are in favor of legal weed. Yet, 80 percent of those without a connection to organized religion are in favor of dragging America out of the pits of prohibition.

While some religious people deprive themselves of weed because the federal government considers it an illegal substance, if they look closely at the Bible they would find that it actually gives them permission to live high on the almighty. There are versus in the good book that suggests the cannabis plant was put on this planet by God to make it a little more palatable.

In Genesis, the books says “And God said, “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit.” In other parts of the Old Testament, cannabis is referred to as “kaneh-bosem” (aromatic cane). In fact, cannabis is believed to have helped Moses make a connection with God. “The angel of the LORD appeared to him in a blazing fire from the midst of a bush,” reads Exodus 3:2.

Sure, it’s vague and open to interpretation. But what isn’t in the Bible? The book has been studied for thousands of years and everyone is still as confused as ever. If theologians are still working to understand its contents, then what chance do the rest of us have? So if you find yourself reading the Book of Revelation, counting the days until the looming Apocalypse, our advice, if you really want to hear trumpets, is to rip those pages out and use them twist up a few holy hooters. And when you come face-to-face with God through the clouds of sacred smoke, tell him we said to lighten up a little.

TELL US, are you religious?