‘Jersey Shore’ Villains, CBD Gains & Anne Frank

We’re waist-deep in the dog days of summer. It’s that special, hazy time of the year where sweat-slicked days ooze into muggy, electric nights and everything is a little looser than usual. 

In accordance, this week’s weed culture roundup is sort of unhinged. It’s a grab bag of celebrity and dubious intentions. It’s also reflective of broader trends in the cannabis marketing game: the leverage of pre-existing popularity to gain media exposure, the stunts, the striving for virality. 

But how much does the cannabis industry’s coterie of famous friends actually help the fight for legalization? Is all attention good attention, or is publicity drummed up solely to generate profit a betrayal of the cannabis advocacy movement’s very spirit? 

Sorry. Got a little heavy at the end there. Must be the heat. 

Honoring Anne Frank… With CBD Tampons 

I’m not a marketing expert, but I’ve lied about being one in a few job interviews so I’m familiar with the concept of having a “brand story” — a narrative that informs your business, presenting to lure in clients or customers with a similar value set. 

The desire to craft a particularly compelling brand story could, perhaps, be linked to the revelation from Daye CEO and founder Valentina Milanova that her company, which sells environmentally friendly CBD tampons, was inspired by Anne Frank. 

Valentina told Jewish-American news site The Forward that she wanted to pay homage to Frank’s embracing of her own menstruation as recorded in her diary, which is definitely a nice sentiment. But it’s also one hefty word salad.

And as for the science behind CBD tampons, it’s complicated. According to Daye’s website, “CBD is much safer than over-the-counter painkillers, and the vaginal canal has the highest concentration of cannabinoid receptors, making it the best place to absorb the compound.” 

Forget About Your Boyfriends & Meet Me at the CBD Gym

Okay, “CBD gym” might be a little bit of an overstatement here — there’s a new luxury gym opening in New York City that will also sell CBD-infused refreshments, because the cannabinoid is nothing if not a leading trend in health and beauty. 

GRIT BXNG, the gym in question, is co-owned by the likes of Pitbull (dalé!) and self-help coach/alleged predator Tony Robbins. It’s connected to a bar and also accepts Bitcoin. According to its website, “it’s a connection. A vibe. An attitude that you can have fun and be intense and work out and drink with fun people.”  

It’s not like the application of CBD in fitness is a preposterous idea — leagues like the UFC are already running trials on the impact of CBD on chronic pain and sports injuries, and many athletes swear that using CBD aids their recovery time and helps banish aches and pains. 

Where do I sign up? 

GTL & THC 

Have you ever been smoking weed and thought to yourself, “This is all well and good, but I’d really prefer if it came from a company owned by a guy who gained notoriety as a cast member of MTV’s ‘The Jersey Shore’”? 

If so, today is your lucky day! Ronnie Ortiz-Magro, of “Rahn, you’re traumatizing me!” fame, is dipping his toes into the entrepreneurial waters and pushing multiple cannabis ventures. 

According to a public relations representative for Ortiz-Magro, the reality show star has a facility with Gen X in the works, where his team will produce high-quality cannabis oils because in his experience “a lot of oils give you bubbles in your chest” and what his company does is “produce the oils really clean and smooth.” He will also be working with the pre-roll manufacturers over at Packwoods. 

But most importantly: “Ronnie is also releasing the first ever CBD tanning lotion for those who lay in the sun, work out in the sun or just hang out outside.”

Tanning lotion aside, there’s certainly one lesson to be derived from all this publicity: In the legal weed business, there’s nothing more powerful than a deep, deep commitment to being on-brand. 

TELL US, would you buy CBD tanning lotion or tampons?