What’s the best way to get high at work? — Sneaky Fromme
Um, don’t? Would you show up to work drunk? Would you want to work with a drunk person? I get that being drunk and being stoned are two different things, but being under the influence of drugs while at work is a bit unprofessional, yes? I mean, unless you work in the cannabis industry and your job is to try all the new weed, or write weed reviews or advice columns or something similar, just stay sober until you are off the clock.
“But, I’m a budtender! I work in a cannabis club!” So what? Listen, weed is awesome, but it also makes people forgetful, giggly and a little inattentive. Just like budtenders hate it when a customer shows up too high to talk or pay attention, no one wants a budtender that can’t pay attention or answer questions. Unless you are medicating for pain relief or some serious issue, being stoned at work is not a good idea.
If you really, really need to be stoned at your job, I suggest two things. First, look at your drug use and make sure you aren’t ignoring a dependency issue. Weed isn’t addictive in the traditional sense, but people can develop a habit. Second, maybe try an edible, so you don’t stink up the place when you walk in. Be careful, though. Get too high at work without smelling like weed, and folks will think you are a plain old goof instead of a goofy stoner.
Oops, I got in trouble for being high at work! How should I explain to my boss that I’m a happier and more productive worker when I’m high? — Caught Red-Eyed
Not trying to kill your buzz, but… you got caught being high in a place where you aren’t supposed to be high. No bueno. How to handle it? I’m not sure. There are a bunch of factors: Was your boss upset, or did they think it was funny? Are you known for being an amazing and brilliant employee? Are you really “happier and more productive?” Okay, happier is probably a given, but more productive? Do you have objective evidence, or is it just a feeling? Sometimes, being stoned can make you feel more productive, but you really aren’t. I know that smoking a strong sativa will definitely motivate me to start cleaning the house, but first, I have to make a good playlist, then I need to have a healthy snack, then I have to organize the cleaning supplies, yadda yadda. I may be getting things done, but I may not be accomplishing the original task, feel me? Apologize to your boss and tell them that it — “it” meaning “being caught” rather than “being stoned at work,” because we know how you are — will never happen again.
What kinds of jobs let you smoke cannabis while working? And how can I get one of those jobs? — Link Din
Most jobs would prefer it if you didn’t put clouds in the air while sitting at your desk, so self-employment is probably the only job where you can get high while working. Or maybe telecommuting. Or perhaps working in a cannabis social club.
Becoming self-employed is easy. Being successfully self-employed is way hard. Maybe if you are a full-time weed grower, you can get high while talking to your plants. But if you are asking about a job where they don’t care if you are high while you work, the cannabis industry is probably the answer. And remember, the cannabis industry isn’t just growing and selling weed. The cannabis industry needs marketers, graphic designers, lawyers, electricians (although you should probably be sober for that) and more. If you are in a state that allows recreational or medicinal cannabis, polish up your resume and send out a few inquiries. Good luck!
Do you think it’s a bad idea to invite my coworkers to smoke weed with me instead of going to a happy hour? — T. Totaler
I personally think it’s a great idea! I can’t speak for your coworkers, but I have some advice, and it depends on your situation.
Do you live in a state where cannabis is legal for adults? Go for it!
Do you live in a state where cannabis is illegal, but you know your coworkers are cool with weed? Go for it, but be discreet.
Do you think your coworkers are square snitches that could cost you your job because the boss is a prohibitionist? Keep it to yourself.
But if you think your co-workers are cool, try this: Next time they ask you out for happy hour, just say, “I’m not much of a drinker. I am more of a cannabis enthusiast.” You will probably intrigue a few colleagues and find some new smoking buddies. Have fun.
TELL US, have you ever shared a joint with your co-workers?
Originally published in Issue 38 of Cannabis Now. LEARN MORE